Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Mommy Guilt

I think just about every mother goes through a period where they feel guilty about something. Not being able to go on that field trip, taking time to take care of yourself by going to the gym instead of playing trains or tea party, and for working moms, maybe the biggest guilt inducing moment- daycare dropoff. We feel guilty that we have to leave them, guilty that when we get home we may be too tired to read Green Eggs and Ham 12 times in a row, and guilty that at naptime someone else will tuck them in. My youngest goes to preschool three days a week while I am at school. At first he didnt want to leave my side, but after a few weeks he was happy to play with his friends and ran to meet them after giving me three hugs and three kisses (his favorite number). Today marks 2 1/2 months of him going to preschool, and as I dropped him off I realized that as much as he loved snuggling with mommy, he also really liked to go to school. Of course that made me feel guilty too, as if maybe somehow that made our bond less special that he enjoyed his time away. It is irrational of course, but that is the curse of Mommy Guilt. I know in my heart that spending time with his friends and other caretakers at times is not bad for him, and that it is beneficial to him to socialize and interact without mom being there to prod him, but it still makes me a little sad every time I pull away to drive to school. After being a stay at home mom for so long it makes me feel torn to have to take him to preschool, but I know in the long run our family will be better off, more financially stable and that no one will be emotionally damaged by my returning to college. I hope to prove to my kids that you really can do anything, and getting my degree is the first step.

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